Melting the snow

I should probably wait until I’ve had some sleep before making this entry, but after coming across the blog of a beautiful girl I’ve known since elementary school, I realized I haven’t been here in a while.

So, the news. I quit the hospital job after two days. It turns out it was a personal assistant job with an incredible amount of stress. I wasn’t sleeping, I was coming home and crying. I was going to make a sacrifice for the sake of our bank account and Pat wouldn’t stand for it. He told me to quit, and I cried in relief.

I am back to unemployment, though I’m currently in the running for a great part time job with the OPP. Aside from the location (across town from my Mum’s place in Orleans), it’s absolutely perfect. The pay is great, and being part time, it gives me plenty of time to be there with Mum, go to her appointments and decompress.

It seems as though my ability to take stress has greatly changed over the last couple of years. In emergencies, I’m a rock star but now that I’m in the scary limbo place between my father’s death and my mother’s illness, I’m kind of  a wreck.

So, I’m taking the time to heal. I’m reading, a lot. I’m doing a lot of frivolous activities, like video game playing. I’m trying to improve my diet, I’m picking colours for our room in Orleans, I’m planning my wedding and I’m allowing myself to come down from the survival mode that I’ve been living in for the last year.

So, that’s where I am. I’m on a path. I’m taking the time that I need to figure things out. I am surrounded by those I love, who love and support me in return.

It is finally spring.

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