Hi all! I hope you had a great weekend :) It was a long weekend for me, thanks to our summer hours program at work. The weekend was full of family and close friends, which is exactly what I needed. No cleaning or yard work was accomplished, but it can wait. I took the time to sit back and let good company mend my heart a bit.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, about ways to improve my life. It can be really hard, when you’re completely bogged down by depression, so I’ve been doing something that often helps keep my mind looking to the future – planning, dreaming and list making.
First thing on my list is to take a good look at our place and start to go through things. Don’t ask me when I’ll have the time to do all of this, but I’m going to try. Pat and I need to get ourselves a storage unit soon anyway, to house the stuff that we’re getting from my parents’ estate. I’m thinking it’s a good time to go through everything and make three piles. One for tossing/selling, one for keeping in our current house and one for storage. Our place is just too small for all the furniture and STUFF that we have.
Every room is packed to the brim, and I think this is definitely contributing to my feelings of stress and failure at keeping my house clean and friendly. There are rooms that are just not getting used right now, and that seems silly to me. Things that I’m planning include decluttering the dining room and make it a formal dining room again, as well as a show case for family pictures. The other room, as much as it pains me, is my craft room. Sure, I use my supplies alot, but never the space. I’m seriously considering making it a guest bedroom. We have guests at least three times a season, so it would be nice to put them somewhere other than our pull out couch in the living room. We’ll see. We don’t have the space for my spare Queen bed, so other then fighting for my Dad’s old single, I don’t know that it’s a feasible plan. Oh well. Something to think about anyway.
For those who are also thinking about decluttering, I have a link to share. Even though he’s not really posting any more, due to illness in the family, I highly recommend my friend phil’s youtube series “Out of the Dog House” where he goes over the process of decluttering your life.
The next thing on the list is figure out how to make myself feel like I’m making an effort with my spirituality. I’ve been blessed with new friends who share some common beliefs, who have given me great conversations and lots to think about. I, for the first time in 8 years, have different plans for Samhain. Since I turned 19 I’ve been attending the Witches Gathering, a costume party and ritual at a downtown club, hosted by the Ottawa pagan community. Even with all the drama and politics, I’ve only missed one year (2008. Dad had just died, and I wasn’t feeling up to it at all). This year I’m going to a party and rit held by a group that I’ve never met before, but who are close to a good friend of mine. I think it’s important that I start doing other things and forging my own path. Obviously sticking to this old one hasn’t served me all that well, and it’s no longer leading me towards learning and new connections. I also want to start doing some serious thinking and meditating on exactly what I believe and maybe get back to work with some of the exercises I had started with a year or two ago. (Namely some Shamanism stuff by Ted Andrews, more stuff from Ellen Dugan)
The big one on the list is to take some time to think about what I’d like to do with myself in terms of my career. I’ve been in admin for a long time now, but it’s never been where I wanted to end up. No offense to anyone else in the field, I just find I tend to fall into a funk really quickly when I work admin and it’s just not what makes me happy. I’ve attempted a few things over the years, and I find I’m now afraid to try, put money into something and then discover yet again that it’s not my cup of tea. Having said all of that, I am seriously considering working towards getting my Early Childhood Educator’s diploma. I enjoy working with young kids, it would open up some new doors for me, specifically at Mothercraft, which is where I’d love to work. I don’t want to run a daycare, but it would be nice to teach on a part time basis. Also, it would be great for learning those things in general, as I do want to start a family in the next year or two.
So, that’s where my mind has been at lately :) I’m going to try to post more. I have some baking to do tonight, so perhaps I’ll share a recipe!