I think it’s time that you, my readers, understand something about me that I don’t often talk about. It’s one of those things that paints the way people see you, perceive you, and often, it paints a negative picture of who you are. Many people grew up with the idea that we should suffer in silence. That it is burdening those around us to share our difficulties. That it is a sign of weakness to talk about these things. I am of the opinion that it shows strength and hope to open up, and to face it head on, so I’m going to do just that.
I am one of the many people who has depression and anxiety problems. It’s something I’ve struggled with since I was 10 years old. Some years, months and days are better than others. Some are hard and require a lot of effort and support to work through.
As you can imagine, the deaths of both of my parents, in such a short time, have triggered a dark time for me, and it takes a lot of work on my parents and lots of support from my friends and family to push through.
Yesterday was one of those hard days. Being the 9th, it was 5 months from when Mum died. I hadn’t slept well, due to dreams about Mum. On my way to work, I drove passed a cancer patient being wheeled into an ambulance. Pat and I had a good talk and I’m feeling a bit better today. I’m going back to therapy on Monday, I’m starting to see a chiropractor next week to help with my aches and pains caused by my car accident, and we’ve been talking about getting me a new hobby. He’s trying to convince me to join Karate with him. I’m not so sure, but I’ve decided to give the dojo a try. At very least, it will get me out of the house and doing something active. I’m considering doing their Women’s Self Defense course.
I’m talking about this now because it is something that has a huge impact on my life. It’s a part of my path, and it’s better that I get this out so that you can understand things as I move forward later.