There’s been a bit of a theme for my friends lately. All over facebook, twitter, the forums and the blogs I’ve noticed a lot of people going through a really rough time. I’ve heard a lot of “Listen, 2011. I thought we had an agreement that you were going to be way better than 2010. So far, you’re failing”. I have said the very same.
Last night I came home from work later than usual, feeling sick and shakey. Pat was staying late at work and I had bused home. All I wanted to do was rest, but somehow I managed to find enough energy to feed myself and get started with my cleaning. Like with most things, I find that once you take those first few difficult steps, the next become much easier.
Despite being lonely, exhausted and sick, I managed to do three loads of dishes, two loads of laundry, I cleaned the bathrooms, changed the litter boxes, swept, tidied and vacuumed all of our second floor. I made the beds and emptied the garbages. I’m not saying this to guilt anyone or pat myself on the back (well, maybe a bit of a pat. I did rock that house.)
I’m sharing this because sometimes we need to pick ourselves up and keep on going.
This morning, I woke up and got into a mini argument with my husband. He was tired and cranky, and had the gall to kick me out of the bathroom while I was getting ready so that he could pee. I could have shrugged it off, but instead I let it piss me off. It snowballed, of course. While straightening my hair, I put the wrong product in and nearly lost it when my hard-won beautiful hair suddenly looked like a greasy mess. I was running late, I hadn’t had time to eat or have my morning tea. My shirt was a wrinkled mess and needed to go in the dryer and the pants I had chosen and ironed were too small.
Again, I could have just shrugged this all off, but instead I let it drag me down. I became angry, snapping at the animals and at Pat. It wasn’t until I was all set to go, sitting there with my now-cold oatmeal, 10 minutes late, that I let myself calm down and take a few breaths.
I made the decision not to let my morning define my whole day. I took a few deep breaths, reminded myself of my Word for the Year, and just accepted it for what it was.
We are the ones that put these expectations out there. We have a bad morning, so we expect to have a bad day. We demanded a better year, but part way through the first month, many of us are disappointed in the lack of change. Maybe it’s not the year that needs to change, but rather the way we face it.
Of course, I say that and I hope for that, but we’ll see if I can live it. There is something to demanding greatness, and living with hope. Maybe we can meet it somewhere in the middle.