Yesterday was a rough day. I won’t get into details, but my spirit was near broken and I just wanted to curl into a ball and weep (followed closely by drink my face off and then collapse into a deep slumber for the next 5 years). I spent the day powering through work, reading some fluffy urban fantasy (Kim Harrison for those interested) and talking to Tracy and the husband. My co-irker was lovely and got me a haagan dazs ice cream bar. Mmmmm.
After work, I went home and cleaned. I cleaned, and cleaned and cleaned. We found out that money is tighter than we thought, so I plotted dinner ideas for when Jamie comes over tonight using only things we already have in the house. I picked something that works (baked spaghetti/macaroni. Another one of my Mum’s old standbys) and then continued to clean. I finally gave up cleaning at 9, had some sleepy time tea, made some puffed wheat squares (another Mum favourite) and then went to bed at 10.
I’m feeling waaaay more at peace today. Funny how working on ones physical space can make sure a difference with moods and emotions. I also took some time to put up some things that I’ve been meaning to display. One was a soapstone piece that Pat inherited from his Dad. It’s now in the main hallway downstairs. I also put up our family besom (inherited from my mother. No idea what it’s made out of, I just know it’s always been in my family home, as long as I can remember) as well as a gift from the bestie, Leigh. I’ll try to remember to take pictures of these things tonight and share them with you.
I feel ok. Seeing the outrage that people had over how things have been has fortified me. I’m not sure if it’s a gemini thing, or just a me thing, but I constantly worry that I’m being overly sensitive or manipulative. I second guess my reactions all the time. It doesn’t help that I’m being accused of being these things, so having people tell me “No, really, this is nuts!” is a huge help. I’m looking forward to spending time with Jamie and Pat tonight. I am looking forward to spending time with our Heart family (for my new readers, this is Pat’s best friend and her family. They’ve basically adopted me as one of theirs) this weekend. I’m applying for part time jobs for when my current one drops in hours in about a month.
Sometimes you have to fight for optimism, but it’s there when you’re open to it. I’m thinking about craft courses to take (quilting! Has anyone ever done one of these?). I’m inspired by Alicia Paulson and her beautiful home. I love quilts. My nanny made me one when I was a baby which became my favourite blanket. My Mum actually had to repair it when I was about 12 because it was all worn out in pieces. I also really REALLY want to learn to crochet. I really want to make this:
Overall, I’m good today. I’m making plans, I’m thinking about the future in a positive way. I’m feeling excited about something. I know that there will be good days and bad days, but I’m so very thankful and glad to have such incredible friends, family and readers out there who share their support. Thank you, so much.