Everyone processes grief differently. Loss is a fluid changing thing. I remember being surprised at how I reacted to my parents deaths. I always had pictured hysterics, fainting, sobbing. The reality of it was much quieter, and yet, again, both losses were felt differently.

Friday I was surprised to see a face I knew and recognized in a news story. A girl that I had known from dance was missing and had been missing since Wednesday evening. Since then, I have been obsessively following every detail on facebook and in the news. Yesterday we found out that she had been murdered. She and I had not been close. We haven’t seen each other in years and barely talked online. This past week I was thinking about contacting her because she recently got a new tattoo at my fave tattoo shop. I’m not sure how I’m supposed to feel or react. People tell me they are sorry for my loss, but I am not suffering. Am i? I don’t think I am. Send your thoughts instead to her loved ones. I feel so badly for her husband, family and close friends. i have found myself getting angry at speculation that one of them could be involved. I keep thinking about details that I have read.

So, I am snuggling my boy a little closer. I called my sister. I am spending time with loved ones. I’m working on Liam’s baby album.

Rest in Peace, Melissa.
Rest in Peace, Melissa.

Rest in peace, dear lady. May the fucker that hurt you be caught quickly.

1 thought on “Grief”

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