While nursing my son to sleep tonight, I started thinking about how lucky I am and how I may not be living the life I imagined, but I am living a blessed life.
It’s easy, especially on the internet, to only talk about the highs and lows. There’s been so many of those motivational bleh things floating around facebook lately, with an equal share of the hilariously grumpy and true someecards.
That last one is specifically on my mind. I talk a lot about how spirited my son is, how difficult the last year and a half has been and how I’ve struggled with PPD. Ive been told my experiences are good birth control. Yeah. Nice to hear, eh? What I haven’t been talking about, at least not enough, is the small moments of sweetness. Not the OMG YAY Milestones necessarily, but the quiet or silly moments of parenting that make it make sense.
My son has this amazing grin that he saves for moments when he knows I’m probably about to be cranky with him. He sometimes stops part way through nursing, in the middle of the night, to grab my face and kiss me, before going back to nursing and falling asleep. I love that everything is a drum for him. He dances with or without music. He knows what he wants. He does a funny little stomping dance when he’s excited. He throws his arms back, sometimes, like a cape and then runs around chasing the dog. He loves big kids. He loves following them around and talking to them. He loves animals more than anything, except for maybe gold fish crackers. I am never alone, now. I know love in a way I never knew I could.
It hasn’t been easy for us, but I really mean it when I say I wouldn’t change it for the world. My family is my everything, and has been worth every sacrifice.
My little man is different than I expected, because he’s so much MORE.