Spring

I empathize with Spring this year. I don’t want to leave the house yet. I am comfortable under my layers of blankets and sweaters. I feel like I have more thinking and coping to do. That said, I think everyone is so very ready for the bleak cold winter days to be OVER ALREADY.

Mucha's seasons (just winter and spring)

Sisters, Winter and Spring.

The last few weeks have been rough here. I feel like the poor plants, trapped in the cold earth, waiting for the weather to change and welcome me back. My Mom’s birthday came and went, and I felt my heart breaking for my son’s lack. He will never know how her eyes sparkled and her laugh cackled when she was truly amused by something. He will never know her stern look over the frame of her glasses, paired by that Marge-esq grumble. He is at an age now where he remembers. He misses people and he asks about them. He tells elaborate stories about his best friend, Gus. He talks about his favourite person in the world, his Auntie Tracy. When my Mum’s birthday came, and he saw me crying while watching a tribute video made by my Dad’s family (estranged to us), he was so worried. He doesn’t understand who these people are that I miss so terribly. I have pictures of them up, I talk about them as much as I can, but he doesn’t know them. There are just some days where that hurts so very much.

Ostara was kind of quiet for us this year. We talked a bit about it, I made a crustless quiche (my Mom’s recipe), and some bunny buns. I gave everyone some mini-eggs and that was it. At least, that was it until my girlfriend, Sarah, called up and told us that she had some extra tickets to the Live Dinosaur Train show. Such a great time! Liam loved it.

Bunny Buns and Quiche

Bunny Buns and Quiche

Liam and I at Dinosaur Train

Dinosaur Train!

A couple days later, I was overcome by the need to do some spring cleaning, and basically attacked the house. Unfortunately, my health hasn’t been great and I very quickly lost steam. I’m doing a tiny bit each day. My back, neck and knee have been acting up. It’s been 5 years since my accident, and I am seeing now how this has changed my life. Even the most basic things, like sitting on the floor to play with my kid and a ball is hard for me.

Easter is around the corner now. Much like Ostara, I don’t have my steam or excitement for it. We’ve been doing some crafts and talking about it as an extension of Ostara, but I can’t help but think about how it was the last holiday I had with Mom, 5 years ago. I can’t help but deeply miss my sister and wish that I was surrounded by loud, insane, offensive family all over again (My Dad’s kids and my parents. Tracy and I are very alike in that we became very small and quiet at the big family dinners. Of course, we helped each other stay sane during those crazy visits).

20150328_09290120150328_092925(1)On the plus side, all of this reflection has given me the push to finally save my pictures from my old desktop that has been sitting dead for 3 years. Pat managed to get it going long enough for me to back everything up. My goal is to start making family photo books. Gives me the ability to celebrate the family, love and support that I do have.

What are your plans for the holiday weekend?

Thawing

The sun is peeking through the curtains as I sit here with my coffee, while Liam plays with his toy tools (his new obsession). I am so excited by the spring weather we have finally been getting. I feel rejuvenated and like I’m shedding an old skin. Selfie of me Sitting outside in the sun

This was a hard winter for us. There have been big stresses for us this winter (financial, personal, and health). Combine that with the greyness, the cold and all that snow, we have not been feeling great for months. Yesterday, we took a nice long walk around the neighbourhood and let Liam excitedly splash through all the new spring puddles. It was wonderful. We are still adjusting to the time change (Arg, I am not a fan), but this sunshine and warmth makes it bearable.

I am starting to prep for the equinox. Crafts, activities and some tasty food. Liam and I started these egg carton flowers this morning, and I have to say that I love them. spring15cThey are super easy to make, and such a happy punch of spring colour. I think we will do some seed starting for the actual equinox and eat a quiche for dinner that night.

I have started a new exercise program too. I have been finding myself tired ALL THE TIME and think that my lack of activity probably has something to do with it. I have been feeling blob like for a while. While I love my body, no matter what the scale says, I do want to be able to have enough energy to play with my kid. Here’s hoping this helps! Any tips to keep your energy up and to stay fit, without being fat shaming? Oh, on that topic, I recently wrote a small rant on facebook and tumblr about fat shaming and the Dancing Man that I wanted to share with you. Check it out here.

spring15bI hope you are having some lovely weather where you are too! <3

Spring parties

As you could tell from my last post, we have had a rough go the last little bit. Right before Easter weekend, we were all struck down by a 72 hr gastro bug. It hit me first, right after work on Wednesday, and then slowly made its way through the family. We still weren’t over it by Easter morning, so we had a word with Humphrey and decided that the egg hunt and Ostara plans would have to be postponed.

Unfortunately, I had already postponed Ostara from the actual equinox, to Easter weekend (I’m trying to find a way to combine our holidays and practices. This time didn’t quite work out). As a result, we finally got to celebrating this past weekend, and its already nearly Beltane. Sigh. Oh well! Funny how once the weather changes, life seems to pick up the pace. This weekend was full of spring celebrations.

We woke up Sunday morning, went to get papa (I’m sleeping with Liam these days, as his flu and molars have done a number on his sleep again. He’s nursing like a newborn these days) and off he went on the egg hunt.

As you can see, Humphrey spoiled him nicely.  After the egg hunt, we celebrated Ostara by planting some seeds in Liam’s new seed starter kit and then I did a cedar and sage smudging of the house.

Planting some merigold seeds

Planting some marigold seeds

 

My new smudging kit

My new smudging kit

After the chocolate craze died down, and little man finally had his nap, we were off to Brewer park to hang out with our buddies! G, one of Liam’s buddies, had his birthday right around the same time as L. We decided to avoid the big party this year and simply celebrate these two awesome dudes by doing their favourite thing. We had a great time, despite the chilly grey weather.

park

A couple hours later, all the kids were turning into monster pumpkins. This mama was pretty toast too. It was a great weekend, with a ton of celebration.

I’m not quite sure what our plans are for Beltane later this week, but I’m thinking maybe a trip to the Experimental Farm and maybe making my Honey Lavender cake. Nothing too crazy this year. I was hoping to take Liam to the local Waldorf’s school May Day celebrations  this weekend (they even have a maypole!), but I’m working the Ottawa Baby Show this year! If you’re in the area, please come out and visit me on Sunday at the Belly Laughs booth. I’m there from 10-3.

logo

This coming week also marks the beginning of a new chapter in my journey towards living healthier. I recently came across a great blog called Bless this Mess (a sentiment I can definitely get behind). A week ago, or so, she posted about this great challenge called Feel Great in 8. I was intrigued so I checked it out. I really dig the concept: Striving towards holistic Health. We’re not just talking shedding pounds here, but rather working on fitness, nutrition, mental health and spirituality. I may be one of the few(if not only) non-Christian participants, but I think the challenges will still speak to me and my faith. I am about 11lbs from my first goal (my pre-pregnancy weight), and I’ve been slacking pretty bad lately. This is exactly the kind of boost I need. If you’re interested, check out their page. There’s time left before our round starts (May 5th). There are referral benefits, but don’t feel like you have to share that you got there through me.  I’d just love to have some buddies join me in this :)

TCBOTB

 

And with that, I’m off! We’re having our furnace serviced for the spring today, and I need to carve out a path through the toddler destruction for the guys to get in.

 

Beltane and End of the Song Meme

I hope everyone had a  lovely long weekend! The husband and I celebrated with his family on Saturday and laid low the rest of the weekend. Since Easter was the last holiday I celebrated with my Mum before her death, it was definitely bittersweet for me.

I can’t believe we’re a week away from Beltane! I still have no idea what my plans are, which has sadly become a trend over the last couple of years. It’s been a tough transition, going from working with a tight knit group to suddenly finding myself solitary. I am thinking that whatever I do, I want to make this cake. Honey and Lavender? Sounds like a delicious plan to me! Yum!

And in other news, the song meme is now done! Here are my last few bits:

day 25 – a song that makes you laugh

You know you love it.

day 26 – a song that you can play on an instrument

Sadly, none. I don’t play any instrument :( I used to play the clarinet, but that was about 13 years ago.

day 27 – a song that you wish you could play

I LOVE this song. I walked down the aisle to it and would LOVE to learn to play it.
day 28 – a song that makes you feel guilty

Strange, right? Well, my Mum had asked me to burn a CD for her, and this was one of the songs she wanted. I kept putting it off, forgetting and it never got done. It’s one of those silly things I can’t seem to get over, but I really wish I had made her that CD.

day 29 – a song from your childhood

Paul Abdul and I go way back. My barbies and dolls would put on elaborate performances of Straight Up and Cold Hearted Snake (I blame my love of JEM. Most of my childhood games for the next few years involved some kind of dramatic love story and singing). I think my sister and I played that album until it died.

day 30 – your favorite song at this time last year

Yes, Mumford and Sons. It was about this time last year that I was obsessed with this album. I was also listening to a lot of our wedding music at this time, trying to figure out what songs to tell the DJ to play.

Ostara

Happy Ostara everyone!

I’m probably not going to be doing much this weekend to celebrate, as Pat and I have to get the house pretty and sparkling for our Realtor who is stopping by Monday or Tuesday to discuss the sale of this place. Usually, I would be attending my an annual spring Stitch ‘N Bitch hosted by my good friend, Lisa-Marie, to celebrate, but unfortunately, without my car and with so much to do, I have to miss again this year :( I’m doing what I can to cheer myself up despite missing out on all the bellydancing bra-burning goodness. This helps:

Yes, I’m a Gleek. I love the camp, the happy and the singing. So much fun <3

Oh, and these guys. I adore them. I can’t wait to get my hand on their album, Sigh No More.

So, back to the topic at hand. There are some great blogs out there, talking about Ostara and ways to celebrate. One of my favourites today is The Domestic Witch. I think I’ll take her suggestion and turn our cleaning into a cleansing.

Meanwhile, another beautiful blog, also titled Domestic Witch (are we getting a sense for my taste in these things? Yes? Good :)) had a really great post today that brought back a memory of my pagan past. Long ago, when I was very new to the path, I was very unsure and very scared. I didn’t know where to start, or where to find my answers. I remember sneaking off to the New Age section at the local book store. I forget the specific book now, but I remember flipping through one that resonated with, only to find a little note inside. It directed me to The Pagan Playground, one of the only pagan stores in Ottawa. It was then I realized that there was a community in Ottawa, beyond the highschool girls who had only read Starhawk. It also made me feel special, like someone had left the note for me specifically. It was great! I love the idea of leaving these lovely Wish Tickets in books that mean something to me. I think a trip to Chapters may be in order!

Oh, I meant to add that I ended up putting off wedding shopping the other day and only managed to pick up yarn for my garter. It is perfection. It glows, it shines and its so soft! It’s Silk Rhapsody Glitter by Art Yarns, and the colour way is the perfect blend of ivory and a light grey blue.

Of course, I’m sure it’ll be a nightmare to work with (mohair and I go way back. I remember swearing it off years ago. So much for that). I had knit a wrap sweater that turned into a lovely little shrug (ah, gauge. You are my eternal foe)

Cute, right? Well, it’s supposed to be full length. And it was my first big project ever. I tend to dive in head first, without thinking. The number of times I frogged this thing, I became quite familiar with the lovely way mohair tends to bind itself together. Ah, good times.

I may or may not have had to frog the garter once already. I refuse to confirm or deny. Just pass the wine.

Ah well, I can’t complain too loudly. I almost walked out of the store with a 65$ skein of beaded and sequined cashmere. Don’t ask. I loose all sense the second I’m surrounded by the pretty pretty. On the plus side, the lovely owner of the shop informed me that they have Thursday night knit nites. It would be so nice to sit down and knit with people again, especially so close to the house in Orleans.

Anyway, have a great one everyone!