Tarot Reading

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Set the Scene: Devil

Losing independence, addiction and bondage, caught up, overindulgence, choosing to stay in the dark, feeling hopeless. Break free by looking beyond the material.

 

Situation:

-Having a hard time making the first steps in a new direction, breaking free. it may seem impossible to move forward, but deep down, you know you can do this. A hidden relationship coming to the surface.

-Feeling like you’ve lost control in your life, the desire to break the status quo, challenging ideas, coming out of doing things “automatically” and seeing if they actual work for you, look within.

-Painful ending to allow for new growth and regeneration, fear of pain, delaying the inevitable, carrying around old pain, fear of ruin, face this past pain once and for all

-Father figure, solid foundation, strong family. Domination of mind over heart.

-Beginning of a spiritual journey, looking within to find true happiness, mental exhaustion with current situation, disappointment in love,

-Broken home/marriage, emotional connection in a relationship is blocked, treat him with love and respect and he will follow, not being true to yourself,

-Moving on, acceptance, forgiveness, learning from the past, hope for the future, hidden blessings, the sun peaking through the clouds, approaching change

-Isolation, poverty, loss of wealth, failure. People around you are willing to help you through this difficult time. Connection with the material has issues that need to be resolved.

 

Result/What to do now:

-Challenges in moving on from the past, resisting a necessary transition, look for the benefits of this change, feeling forced towards a change

-Breakdown of communication, lack of harmony in the home, instability, fear of commitment.

-Security, control, power, discipline, abundance, problem solving, being pragmatic.

 

 

Tarot Reading

So, every night for the last month or so, I’ve been having stress dreams and nightmares. Every. Single. Night. I’m not sure why, but I expected this to stop in the new year. That somehow, 2014 would wipe the slate clean. Clearly, this was not the case. The dreams all feature my parents, my parents home, feeling as thought I am misunderstood, lots of stress, heartbreak, people not trusting me, packing up my parents house, my dad’s kids or people from my past.

After a particularly bad dream this morning, I’ve decided to do a tarot reading to see what I can do to understand this situation better.

Deck Used: Shadowscapes

Spread: The Journey, from the Shadowscapes book.

Initial draw:

I do a quick initial draw to warm myself up and to introduce the topic. It’s sort of my way of making sure the cards and I are connected and on the same page, topic wise.

tarot1Getting to the heart of the matter, inner knowledge, need to move on from the past, Personal reflection. Inner strength. Truth. Strong sense of purpose, Seeking guidance. Caught in the past, over thinking, limiting oneself. A sign of discord, conflict of interests, take a step back and look at the bigger picture. Passage away from difficulties, a chance to recover, too much change has led to a time of darkness that you must find a way to rise from.

tarot2Leaving Behind:

Caught in the past, over thinking, limiting oneself. Making a choice to either reap the rewards of effort or wait further – The time of waiting is over. Enjoy the reward of your efforts. A calm moment of consideration of alternatives and different approaches. A sensitive woman. A true romantic, wants to just sit and breathe, listening to the still voice from within.

I have spent too much time thinking about my options, working towards the reward and ignoring the fruit, caught in the past. It’s time to move on from being the romantic woman, lost in herself, and start living and appreciating now.

tarot3Why am I on this journey:

Introverted personality. Clinging to the past. Attachment. Immaturity. Refusal to accept responsibility. Selfishness. Emotional suspension, anxiety, guilt. A traitor – one who has turned his back to friends and loved ones and in effect on himself in the process.

Am I refusing to accept the role I played in my mother’s estate badness? Or do I have too much guilt about it? I was placed in the role of Traitor…must think about this further.

Star/Guiding Force:

Letting go of the past, being honest with myself, make new goals and let go of the old me.

Challenge:

Seeking where my heart and emotions lead, idealist, following my dreams and intuition, yearning for perfection, seeking my grail.

Destination:

Effects of stress, responsibilities may seem too much, take time to determine priorities, centering myself without losing myself in thought. So many demands and dependencies, doing things the hard way, taking on too much, the burden is taken on willingly because she knows she has the strength to do it.

Protected: Dreams and a reading

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Two Readings

Today is one of those days where life feels very overwhelming. So, to Tarot I go for some insight.

What to do about family crazy? (This is a random card draw, no specific spread)

1. Hermit: From this, I get take time to be by myself . Wisdom that comes from time and experience.  Perhaps listening to the advice of people that I respect.

2. Six of Cups R. Living in the past, resisting change.

3. Knight of Wands R. Discord (duh), activity interrupted, plans change, hard work and efforts belittled by those who are envious

4. Eight of Cups. Turning point, no longer allowing myself to be the victim, learning and moving foward, ending relationships.

5. The Empress R (This is a card that I associate with. My initial impression is that this situation is bringing out the worst in me). It can also mean a blockage, slowed progress, etc…

6. King of Wands R. This may be another person involved in this situation, also not at their best.  It can also mean disapproving of ideas that are different from your own, thoughtless action, slow changes, criticism.

Huh. Well, that’s pretty clear. I guess it’s time to make some changes and try my best to move forward.

What to do about my work situation?
1.Present Situation: 6 of Wands R. Vanity, overestimation of ones own abilities, disloyalty, need to focus on home and family, consider the plans of others

2.Obstacle: Strength R Blame placing, emootionalism, lack of confidence, short-sightedness, compromises.

3.Goal/Destiny: Queen of Swords (Another card I associate to myself). Taking action, keen and focused mind, breaking free from restriction, thoughts manifested, self-determined, self-protective.

4. Distant past: Emperor. Authority, self-confidence, experience, accomplishing goals, attainment, accepting responsibility, etc..

5. Recent past: The Moon R Illusion,un-manifested dreams, facades, deception, visions obscured, limited imagination, suspicion, letting myself get carried away with dreams.

6. Immediate Future: Two of Cups R. Emotional misunderstandings, disagreements, selfdelusion, self-indulgence, lack of appreciation of another, ending of a relationship

7. Factors affecting situation: Knight of Wands R (Notice that this was in the last reading. I’m going to take this as my family situation is affecting this work situation)

8. External influences: Eight of Cups. Turning point in life, abandoning plans, seeking a new path. Again in the other reading, despite lots of shuffling. No longer allowing oneself to be the victim.

9. Fears/Desires: Knight of Swords. Sudden changes, self-assurance, incisive career activity, courage, balance of power between dreams and action, skill, no more delays in reaching goals.

10. Outcome: The Devil. Natural course, decisions, powerful forces, freedom, sense of humour, release, following inclination, conquering obstacle, potential unleashed.

Thoughts?

Reading

Setting the scene: Ace of Cups R: Emotional upset, change, delays, unrequited love

Ace of Cups


Death, R: Resisting change, prompting change in others, self-evaluation needed, stagnation.

Death


Reading:
Seven of Wands R: Letting problems build up, energy dissipated, self-doubts, attention being diverted from real problems, may need to accept offered assistance.
Seven of Cups R: Fear of failure or wrong choices, inability to decide, delusion, false promises, self-deception, confusion
Six of Pentacles R: Overspending, avarice, loss through negligence or theft, debts, money owed, jealousy
Page of Wands R: Energy dissipated, indolence, unrealistic goals, reluctance to see job throughh, not thinking a process through before acting
Five of Cups: Partial loss, useless regrets, disillusionment, difficulties with a legacy, stressful relationships, delayed inheritance, shallow relationships, anxiety, sharing bounty, imperfections, wasting a legacy, dwelling on a loss
The Empress R: Slow progress, potential unrecognized, blocked creativity (one of the cards I associate with)
Four of Cups: Discontent, reassessment, stationary period, new approach to old problems, new possibilities, new partnerships.

But what do I do?
Four of Cups, R: Boredom, apathy, aversion, seeking distraction

Dreams and a reading

Was hoping to go to work today, but my cold and tummy kept me up all night. Unfortunately, once I did fall asleep, the cats decided it was their turn.

In the short time that I did sleep, these were my dreams. I miss them.

One. Ranch like setting. I am visiting for the summer. Extended family, perhaps? I am out, helping Farmer with something when I see the horses in the field. I spot The Horse the same time she sees me. We pick each other. I gesture, as a test, and she comes over.

We ride, and we are free. She is brown, light on her body, dark in her mane. We ride throughout the open country side. One day, I take off the saddle, and decide to ride her bareback. Terrifying at first, but exhilarating. We both get carried away and ride into a neighbouring farm land. I had been warned never to cross the boundaries, and to make haste if ever I do. So, we flee back to our own land. Our farmer and theirs see us though. (Note: the other farmer is a cow farmer). I am told upon our return that I was rude to the neighbours, that I should have stopped, apologized, and walked the horse back. I tell them I did as I had been told, but they ignore me. I am to be punished.

I am sent away, to learn to ride and act like a lady. Only then will I be allowed to see my girl again.

I am heart and spirit broken.

Away, I make friends, though I try to keep my head down to just get through and get back. These friends try to bring me out of my shell. They are troublemakers, but not in a malicious way, just in the way that you are as children, pushing boundaries. There is this one boy, long dirty blonde hair (like my horse) and blue eyes takes a fancy to me, and tries to figure out who I really am. He seems a good girl, who is afraid to be herself. He decides to help me, so we study together.

Coming weekend, there is to be a dance. We are all excited, though at this point, for whatever reason, I embrace the idea of being myself. We are trying to pick music for the car ride down.

Two. Lisa-Marie has this house of healing and expression. Sarah Beth and I are there for a day of workshops I guess. The house inside is old and grand, and everything is white, flowy or turquoise. When we arrive, she is in a session with someone, though I don’t know what that means. So, we wait and talk.

To start things off, I am asked by LM to start the stretches while she finishes off with her last client. I feel honoured. I command attention and impress the fellow students. I am full of pride and grace. We can each feel the energy in the yogic stretches I am leading (note: I recognize these from the Kundalini classes I have done with Kat). After the stretches/yoga session, LM joins us and asks us to gather around this grand white table.

There, our group is no longer just women, but men as well. To my left is Sarah Beth, to my right is a blond haired man with beautiful blue eyes (could be an older version of the previous boy. Hair is shorter and far more blond). Across from me is LM. The exercise is to sing some lines that have been provided to us in whatever way we see fit. LM starts. I realize she has the same piece as I do. I am happy to hear her interpretation. It goes clockwise from her, and so after Sarah Beth, it is my turn. I realize then that my piece is actually part one of two, and the Blonde Haired man has the second part. All I remember from my piece is “Rose Red”. This man made me feel appreciated, talented, beautiful and….pure? I can’t say any person has ever made me feel that way…at least not in adult life.

Scene suddenly shifts, and some of us are to dance. It is an improv, and the dream me is confident, strong, excited, pleased and not at all nervous.

I just did a Tarot reading:

Six of Cups: Living in the past, trying to recapture good feelings from the past into the presentLonging for the good old days and the opportunity to bring some of those memories into the present, but with care and relevance to the current life so that the current experience is still meaningful. Reunions.

Seven of Cups: Many choices lay ahead and while each may seem inticing, only one is the right answer for me. Warning against daydreaming rather than using the necessary energy to bring goals into fruition. Meditation and vision quest advised. Prioritize options. Will power needed to achieve goals.

Justice Acting deliberately, with purpose. Power of law, retribution, balance, truth, virtue, an agent working on your behalf, advice.

Seven of Coins: Hard work=fruit of labour. Wait for the proper time, don’t rush the harvest. anticipated gains, nurturing a project or a plan, work decisions need careful consideration, working hard to acquire what is desired.

Four of Swords: Repose. Stepping back from a conflict to reassess the situation with calm thought. Need for respite from the battle, but also awareness that letting down one’s guard is not an option. Being ready to fight may in itself precipitate a pause in conflict. Introspection, replenishment, fatigue, energy grounded, not the time to make definite plans, period of self cleansing and releasing the emotional burdens of others.

Six of Coins, R: Overspending, avarice, loss through negligence or theft, debts, unpaid loans, money owed to others, others envious of your success.

Two of Cups: Union, love. Satisfying partnership, joy, happiness, Sense of well-being that is shared with another, mutual respect and enjoyment, new phase.

Nine of Wands: The Fortification of solid accomplishment. You have the energy and strength to handle any problems that may turn up. Success does not go unnoticed and calls forward energies of competition. State of readiness to deal swiftly and thouroughly with the opposition, inner determination is key, and is harmonized with the individual to create inner peace and victory. Regroup thoughts before continuing.

Huh. Well, that was dead on.

Need a Change Reading

Spread: Need A Change from Ann Moura’s Tarot for the Green Witch

1. What to let go: Ace of Coins: Prosperity, big commercial success, financial security, new money making ventures, new job, business ventuers, etc. etc.
2. What to embrace: Page of Swords R Cunning, deceit, unfinished projects, lack of preparation, taking inappropriate shortcuts, change of plans, unforeseen events, obstructions to learning.
3. Obstacles or negative influence: Five of Coins R. Relief coming, courage to find hidden opportunities, temporary difficulties, overcoming troubles in relationships
4. Assistance or positive influence: Strength R. Blame placing, emotionalism, unconfident, sentimentality, boasting, short-sighted, compromise.
5. Look here for direction or assistance: Page of Wands R. Fool. Impatience, petty rivalries, uncertainty, flattery from a false friend, easily influenced, used to achieve another’s goals, lack of forethought. Awakening, fearlessness, courage, joy of life, enthusiasm, new beginning, hidden potential about to be revealed, creativity, fertility, open minded, innovation, fresh ideas, playfulness, recreation, originality, primal energy.

Erum. Thoughts?

My Interpretations:

1. I need to let go of my focus on the job hunt. I have to stop obsessing over finding something new and making crazy cash.

2. I need to embrace my crafts, the things I’ve left hanging since this job-hunt obsession, such as my knitting, my sewing, dpt, letter writing, etc… the things that make me happy and inspire me. This is also what I used to use as my identifier card, so maybe I should embrace my younger shadow self. Hrm. I think I also need to let myself be more open to change and to the pit stops on the path.

3. My obstacles, I think, are my waiting for things to get better. That relief is coming, that these troubles are temporary, etc etc. I need to “man up” and face these things as they are now. Also, it is obvious that certain relationship troubles are acting as obstacles right now, though not necessarily my relationship with Pat

4. Maybe I will find help in being weak, in letting my guard down, by not being so strong all the time. That I have to focus on the now and be short-sighted, rather than obsessing over the future, let my emotions rule a bit more.

5. Now, I can’t tell if this is me being the crappy user, or if it’s someone around me who is that person, but who can help me? Again though, it seems to me the message is enjoy the now, be more spontaneous, stop worrying so much. Let the inner child out to play a bit more. Either that, or I need to find those two people to give me help. Ideas?

Satan and Pugs

Whoa.

Now that’s an interesting dream.

It was Heather versus Satan. Like, red, cloven feet, horned, SATAN. He was something more of a trickster figure in my dream, causing all sorts of mischief and trouble for me, and eventually it led up to a full on scary confrontation. Dude. When I woke up sick this morning, I was winning.

After being ill for a couple hours, I fell back asleep and dreamt that I had a pug. <3 He was soooo cute!

These dreams brought to you by Guitar Hero (Pat is playing “Lou”), Paranormal State and Cute Overload. These things should never be combined before bed. Bad idea.

What the Satan dream meant:

Dream Spread
First cards: Page of Wands, R. Two of Cups.
1. Feel of the dream: Five of Coins. Rewards in the future, not the present. Unexpected expenses. instability, hidden opportunities, feeling isolated, obstacles, being over-extended, bondage, Waiting for improvements.
2 & 3. Main message of the dream: Strength & Four of Coins R. Fortitude, courage, power to achieve goals, control over situation, overcoming obstacles, power used wisely, perserverance, self-discipline, will. Materialism, greed, pent-up creative energy, miserly, coming into a legacy, gain from loss, delays, uncertainties, fortunes changing, further gains difficult, blockage in financial endeavors.
4. Underlying message of the dream: Seven of Cups R. Fear of failure or wrong choices, unable to decide, delusion, gifts rejected, improbable ideas, false promises, self-deception, confusion
5 & 6. The reason it was dreamt Hang Man & Eight of Wands R. Period of transition, paused activity, contemplation, letting matters eveolve without interference, meditating for answers, inner peace, peatience, discretion, turning point coming soon, giving up some things to gain others. Deception, journey cancelled, creative tensions, selfanalysis stalls progress, hastily made decisions or foolish impulse has far-reaching consequences, discord, delays, family quarrels interfere with career, travel plans delayed
7. What to take from it: Ten of Cups. Emotional contentment, family and personal achievement, Life has meaning and ourpose, Happiness with firm foundation, recognition, reputation, family heritage, reaping rewards from efforts, satisfying emotional commitments.